Balanced Self-Management

When was the last time you felt happy and successful? What are the indicators for you that you’ve arrived there?

The latest module of a parenting course I’m on suggests that every parent’s wish for their child to be happy and successful is often what creates children reliant on outside recognition to judge whether they’re worthy.

That when we focus too heavily on indicators such as grades, accolades, social standing etc to guide our child towards our own predetermined definition of happiness and success (and away from our mostly-irrational fear that our child may become homeless one day if they can’t remember to hang their clothes up now), our well-intentioned direction may never allow our child to experience the less positive aspects of life to an effective degree. It suggests that children who are guided too quickly to stay too close to the defined path may struggle to learn any depth of balanced self-management; relying instead on feedback from external sources to determine their worth as opposed to developing a deep-seated belief in themselves and their own capabilities.

As an adult, I can certainly attest to the fact that my strengths, lessons and perseverance didn’t come from being continually happy and successful. Rather the opposite. Fortitude comes from trial and error. From dusting oneself off after failure and deciding to try again. Identifying happiness and success is only possible if you have the contrast…